remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
