is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You have to summon your inner elephant
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
