Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
