so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
