just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
