shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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