i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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