Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
