I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You have to summon your inner elephant
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
