my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
