She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
