I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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