he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
