dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
