i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
