guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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