her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
