Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
