didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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