we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize