Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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