addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
