Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
