After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
