Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize