apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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