My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
