I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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