was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
