How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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