Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize