I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
