That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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