We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
