I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
