..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
