Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think I am morally bankrupt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
