Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
