We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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