Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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