we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
