Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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