I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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