Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
