her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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