Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ladies don't puke and tell
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
