Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize