Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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