Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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