Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
