i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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