Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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