Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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