Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
