I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
