This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
