I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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