I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Randomize
