Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
