Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
