the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
