Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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