i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
