thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
