All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
