We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
